Mabel's Guide to EVERYTHING
by unGratefulNobody
Summary: Hey guys! Welcome to Mabel's Guide to everything I'm gonna start writing one shots in the style of the "Mabel's Guide to" shorts as soon as you hit me up with ideas, it can be ANYTHING at all, no matter how random, ridiculous, weird gross or inappropriate, So comment away! : )
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! Welcome to Mabel's Guide to everything**

 **I'm gonna start writing one shots in the style of the "Mabel's Guide to" shorts as soon as you hit me up with ideas,**

 **it can be ANYTHING at all, no matter how ridiculous, weird gross or inappropriate, So comment away! :^)**


	2. Mabel's Guide to Fanfiction

_"Hey guys! Welcome to Mabel's guide to Fanfiction!"_ She adjusts the camera a little more clearly. _"Today I'm gonna be showing you guys simple stuff, like how to navigate FanFiction and AO3, how to upload stories if you want to, and all the fun fandoms that are popular on here!"_

She turns to her laptop and starts typing. _"My favorite cartoon is Steven Universe, but I asked you guys for suggestions on what to look up so I'll check in my comments right now!"_

Mabel starts scrolling down when something catches her eye. _"Wh...search up gravity falls fanfiction...? It was posted by a guest and not a user...well...okay mystery person."_

Mabel looked skeptical as she searched up gravity falls in the fandom section. _"Wh-what?! People in town have been writing fanfics about stuff happening here and some of our adventures?!"_

 _"Pfffft ha, like me and Robbie would EVER be a couple."_

She scrolls down some more

 _"Awwwww this ones sad, guys I know this person looks like a good writer but I can't read tragedy stories. To each their own I suppose, whatever ya guys love reading!"_

Mabel scrolls down even more.

 _"Ha, Pacifica deserved it."_

 ** _"WHAT IS PINECEST?! NO. NO OH MY GO_ _D NO." M_ _abel looks into the camera  
and shakes it. "WHY ARE YOU WRITING THIS THIS IS A SIN! OMG I'M GONNA _**  
**_THROW UP"_** She panicked and slams her laptop shut and sprints out of the room.  
 ** _"DIPPERRRRRRRR!"_**


	3. Mabel's Guide to Gaming

_"Hey everyone! Welcome to Mabel's Guide to gaming! Before I get down to ranting about stuff,_  
 _we're gonna play a little Iron Snout with thiiiisss handsome little gentleman over here!"_  
Mabel picked up Waddles and waved his hooves at the camera, "oink!"

Mabel sat Waddles in her lap and started the game. She pointed at the screen and went _"look Waddles, see_  
 _that little pig? That's you!"_ Eventually after 20 minutes she got so caught up in the game she forgot she was even  
filming, and didn't even notice that Dipper had walked in.

 _"DIE YOU STUPID WOLF DIE!"_ Mabel screamed slamming her fists on the arrow keys.

Dipper rolled his eyes and looked in the camera. "And as you can see here my sister has terrible taste in games."

 _"SHUT UP DIPPER"_

"Now I for example, just got this in the mail today," he held up a disk box labeled 'No Man's Sky' "and I'd be happy to  
talk to the viewers about something worthwhile."

Mabel pushed him out of the view of the camera annoyed at his interruption _"NO MAN'S SKY SUCKS!"_

"So does Iron Snout? Mabel that game is pointless!"

 _"YOU'RE POINTLESS!"_

Dipper nudged her out of the way and started browsing through her Steam library, "and what the heck is this... an octopus in a suit?"

 _ **"LEAVE HIM ALONE, HE'S AN ORDINARY WORKING DAD!"**_

"Then stop bashing No Man's Sky" Dipper smirked as he held the camera above his head.

 _"DIPPER GIVE IT BACK!"_ next thing he knew Mabel had tackled him making the camera fly across the room into the wall.

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	4. Mabel's Guide to the Circus

"Hey everyone!" Mabel shouted as she adjusted her phone camera, "welcome to Mabel's guide to the Circus...and today for this episode...WE'RE GOING MOBILE!" Mabel spun around filming her face laughing. "haha yes!" she jumped up and down all excitedly as she took the circus tickets out of her pocket and waved them in front of the camera.

"Today Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford got us tickets to a circus just West of Gravity Falls!"

outside her door: *knocking* "Mabel, we gotta go!"

"COMING DIPPER!" Mabel looked in the camera, "Alright viewers, see you at the circus!"

* * *

 **1 HOUR LATER**

"Grunkle Stan...this is awful..? Those animals look so mistreated!" She shouted throwing her peanuts at the ringleader. But he was too busy laughing so loud and pointing at one of the acrobats to hear her. Mabel slowly slipped out of her seat and took off running behind the curtains to where the caravans were parked. She took out her phone and started whispering, "Alright viewers, since nobody else is paying attention to these poor babies, looks like I'm gonna have to take matters into my own hands!"

Mabel smiled evilly into the camera and took out her grappling hook, "looks like some of these caravan cages are locked at the top, so I'm gonna have to use my trusty...GRAPPLING HOOK!" Mabel got to the top and heard shuffling around and tiny mews inside, and as she broke open the lock she flipped upside down and peeked into the open cage...and saw a baby tiger. "Oh you poor baby..." she looked at the camera, "Viewers, this is a travesty! I need to help them! I'll update you all, but until next time, this is Mabel's Guide!" Mabel shut her phone off and pocketed it, and scoopedup the baby tiger in her arms. "Oh my gosh...he's light enough for me to lift him oh jeez..." Mabel whispered. the baby tiger looked up at her and suddenly her mewing stopped. "Come on little cutie, let's find the rest of your friends.

 **15 MINUTES LATER**

Everyone was having a blast, laughing so hard their stomachs hurt at the ridiculous mimes boxing themselves in on stage. Then somewhere in the distance there was the sound of an elephant. It sounded mad.  
Some people started whispering among each other.

This time, a roar was heard. More whispering, some of it panicked.

Suddenly a deafening sound was heard and it was coming closer and closer to the tent, and the tiger they still had caged up started roaring...and even the mimes looked concerned now and stopped their show to wonder what was happening.

Suddenly...A horde of circus animals BURST through the tent, one elephant ramming its head straight into the tiger cage, knocking the tiger free.

"MABEL..?!" Dipper shouted. She was on top of the elephant. Once the tiger was free from her cage, Mabel, with the baby tiger in her arm charged the elephant forward, leading the horde out the other end of the tent.

 ** _"FREEEEEEEEEDOM!"_**


	5. Mabel's Guide to Cooking

"Hello everybody! Welcome to...Mabel's guide to cooking!"

Mabel smiled and brought out an apron she made the week before. It was multicolored with fuzz balls glued everywhere and the straps bedazzled and "KISS THE MABEL" spelled out in big sparkly letters.

"Today we're going to be making one of my favorite things to drink in the whoooolllleeeee world, Mabel Juice!"

She gestured to the counter in front of her. "Okay so here, we have the pomegranate juice, a bunch of that passion tea stuff from the Starbucks back home in Piedmont, some sprinkle of edible glitter and plastic dinosaurs!"

She held up a spoon and a pitcher labeled 'Mabel juice only' "basically you just mix it all together but-and this is the most IMPORTANT part- **IT'S ONLY WORTH DRINKING AFTER YOU ADD THE SUGAR."**

She looked into the camera dead-serious, before ducking under the counter and pulling up a 2-cup box of sugar, and dumping the entire thing in.

"That's Mabel juice," she flashed a smile before downing the entire thing in three gulps, "and remember, I'm not responsible for any damages done from your sugar-induced highs!

"Signing off, my name is Mabel, aND I HEAR COLORS! BYeeeeeeee!

* * *

 **Here you go random guest :) there'll be more Mabel baking/cooking episodes in the future! (and p.s. do try mixing pomegranate juice with passion tea, it's really the best)**


	6. Something You Wish You Never Seen

_"Hey everyone...welcome to today's guide! This week, welcome to.. Mabel's guide to forgetting something you wish..you never saw..."_ Mabel shuddered as shed remembered all those horrifying fanfics and fan art she spent hours trying to burn out of her brain.

 _"Ugh...pinecest..."_ she muttered. _"These people are so gross..."_ Mabel realized she was staring off into space so she turned to the camera again.

 _"Alrighty! So in case you ever deal with something you'd wanna forget, whether it be an embarrassing first date, calling another adult mom accidentally, or someone shipping you with your brother, I have an easy solution. For me at least, We got these memory guns and you can set it to wipe out ANY specific memory without messing up the rest of your mind. As long as you don't use it that often, you should be fine!"_

 _"And before I set this thingy to wipe my memory, lemme just say to all you viewers out there who agree with me, If you think that is disgusting, if you think that's bad, it's weirder being on the receiving end! I'm scarred for life!"_ She said with a forced smile.

Mabel grabbed the camera and shook it _"You people are groooosssss! THANKS ALOT!"_

 _"Alrighty! Now all i do is turn this knob thingy, type in...pinecest... and then just...turn this other doo-dad until the lightbulb in front lights up! Okay...here...we...go! Now that it's set up, let's get this show on the road!"_

 _"You can't mess me up, internet freaks!"_ Mabel shouted before zapping herself in the forehead and falling to the ground. Waddles ran over to her and started licking her face until she woke up. Mabel giggled and scooped him up into her arms. _"Hey cutie...whatcha doing upstairs..?"_ Then she noticed the camera was on, and it had been running for 10 minutes already.

 _"What was I talking about again?"_


End file.
